Whether to see each other before the ceremony is the decision we are asked about most, and we do not have a side. Both work. What we can tell you is exactly what each one does to the photographs, the timeline and the feeling of the day, so that you choose with the facts rather than with whichever article you read last.
What a first look is
Twenty private minutes, usually an hour or two before the ceremony, where you see each other for the first time with only us nearby. We set one of you in a good spot, bring the other in from behind, and then step back. After that we move straight into couple portraits, then the wedding party, then family, all before a single guest has arrived.
What it does to the day
The timeline opens up. Every portrait is finished before the ceremony. You walk out of the recessional into your own cocktail hour and stay there. On a six-hour coverage day this is the difference between relaxed and rushed; on an eight-hour day it is the difference between a one-hour cocktail hour and a ninety-minute one.
The portraits happen while you look your best. Hair and makeup are an hour old rather than four; nobody has cried yet; the boutonnieres are fresh.
It is private. For couples who dislike being watched, the first look is the moment of the day with no audience, and the photographs of it tend to be the most unguarded in the gallery.
It usually means a longer day for you. Getting ready finishes two hours earlier than it otherwise would.
What the aisle reveal is
The traditional version: the first time you see each other is when the doors open and one of you walks in. Portraits happen afterwards, during cocktail hour.
What it does to the day
The ceremony moment is bigger. There is no substitute for a room full of people and a walk down an aisle, and the photographs of a face at the end of that aisle are, for some couples, the point of the whole day.
You miss most of cocktail hour. Family portraits, wedding party and couple portraits take sixty to seventy-five minutes done efficiently. We are quick, but we cannot make twelve family groupings take ten minutes.
The light is often better. Portraits after a late-afternoon ceremony land in golden hour by default, which is a genuine advantage in spring and autumn.
It needs a sharper plan. A printed family list, a wedding party that stays put after the recessional, and a planner who keeps the bar from stealing your groomsmen.
The third option
See each other privately, without seeing each other. A first touch (holding hands around a doorway or a corner) or a letter exchange read back to back gives you the private moment and keeps the aisle reveal intact. The portraits still happen afterwards, but the nerves are settled, the letters are read, and we have photographs of both. More couples choose this every year and almost none regret it.
How to decide
Ask three questions:
- How much do we want to be at our cocktail hour? A lot: first look. Not fussed: either.
- How large are the families and the wedding party? Twelve bridesmaids and four sets of parents: first look. Small and simple: either.
- When is the ceremony relative to sunset? Within two hours of it: the aisle reveal gives you golden hour portraits for free. Earlier: first look, and we come back out at sunset for ten minutes anyway.
Whichever you choose, tell us before we build the timeline, not on the morning, and we will plan the whole day around it.
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